Saturday, June 21, 2008

Too hot for dog days...

104º in the shade!

Do Not Disturb, air conditioned dog at rest.

Ahhhh...what's the use of complaining, after all, this is Arizona and it's officially Summer. It's not fit for man nor beast out there, the birds are gasping for air. The dog needs to be coaxed to go outside, he'd much rather lay around and sleep in the nice cool air critter.

Nope, we're not Jeeping. It would be foolhardy to venture out into the desert this time of year. We'd probably wind up becoming buzzard bait. Since my moaning and groaning doesn't seem to do much good, I've decided to take another approach and laugh at the soaring temperatures. We'll spend the majority of the summer catching up on some stuff here at home that we've been neglecting since we got the Jeep. Painting isn't nearly as much fun as running all over the mountains in a Jeep, but I suppose it's something that should be done. Time to fix up our fixer-upper and keep cool...very cool.

I looked up some Arizona jokes I thought I'd share with you all. I've got to admit, I got a chuckle out of them too.

These are from ""  

 It's so hot in Arizona that...

  • the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
  • the cows are giving evaporated milk.
  • the trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
  • you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
  • you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
  • you can make instant sun tea.
  • you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
  • you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
  • you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
  • you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
  • The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
  • you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
  • you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
  • you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
  • you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
  • no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
  • your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
  • you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • a sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
  • GASP!